Ky's birth
Caboolture
2013
Caboolture
2013
Ky is my fourth child and my partner's first. We like to call him our little miracle. Both being older parents I am 43 and my new partner is 46. I knew it was going to be a bit more difficult than my other 3 children as I was older.
Well I was right, I developed gestational diabetes and Ky was a breech baby, which I did not have with the other three.
I also had an amniotic test done for down syndrome and that in it self was stressful. Luckily everything was fine, as that would be a terrible decision to have to make.
It was the midwife who first felt that the baby’s head was up. But it was still early stages so nothing was said. A month later the doctors were the next ones to feel around for baby and they would not have noticed had I not said is it still in breech position. It was only then they felt again and they said oh yes it is.
Should of kept quiet and would not have to have fought so hard. It was then I received the scare talk, of how my child might not be smart as a cesarean breech child. How it was much safer to have a cesarean and should book one closer to the time.
Well being older and wiser does have benefits; I was able to look beyond their scare talk. I had already had struggles with doctors before, my first child the placenta did not come out in time so doctors wanted to manually take it out. So after having no drugs they wanted to knock me out and take it out but I said no. So the other offer was an epidural, which I agreed to. I have no recollection so still believe they knocked me out. My belief is they were in too much of a hurry to wait for nature to take its course.
Second time round I was a little stronger at holding my ground. This time they wanted to induce because my waters had slowly leaked out, I wanted to wait for my husband to get to the hospital as we lived on island he was about 4hrs away. When I disagreed they told me did I want to kill my child. I ignored them and the midwife whispered in my ear to say everything would be fine and I could wait. So I did.
Third time they wanted to put a drip in before we even started, said I bled too much from the births.
So my fourth I decided no drip as every other birth I had a drip put in, and a vaginal birth was what I was having. I completely shut myself off from anyone who had an opinion good or bad, as I wanted to stick to my decision. (I wish I did look as I would of found support groups like yours just reading some of the stories makes me feel better.) I did not go back for check up at the hospital. Then I started to get panicky, and searched out some info. That’s when I discovered acupuncture. I went to a lovely lady who tried moxa treatment on me to turn the baby. She also showed me some beautiful home births of breech babies on computer. Most of them looked like they had very little pain and they were in a pool relaxed and stress free. Not one baby was touched to pull it out. Even when the head was stuck they waited a full five minutes before the next contraction wave and he was out in a whoosh, safe and sound.
I said to my partner ok we having a home birth he looked a bit horrified. It was only about 10 days to go, so too late to get a midwife willing to deliver a breech baby. I did not even try to find one.
I was now 3 days overdue and when you a diabetic the baby’s shoulder can grow bigger than normal and they like to induce early even if you not breech.
So then of course the bad thoughts come into your head, like is the cord wrapped round its neck am I being silly and putting my child at risk etc.
So went back to the hospital, knowing they would find space for me that day because I was breech, diabetic and overdue. They did, I was lucky this time as I had doctor who was much nicer and told me the same thing the other doctor had told me, but she also said that it was based on research in 2000 which now is being reviewed as poorly conducted research. She also new all about moxa treatment, which had not worked and booked me into have an ECV the next morning.
I did not want an ECV because the acupuncturist had scared me that the child might be breech for a reason and to leave nature to its own business.
I prayed that baby would come that night and he did. My waters broke 10.30pm. That was an experience in itself as never felt my waters break for the other 3 children there was no evidence of my waters breaking the midwife just said that it had broken didn’t feel a thing. Not sure how that worked. Anyway all the way to the hospital I had contraction and more water would flowed out. I was disgusted at that. I said to my partner cant go in there all wet. Wasn’t expecting to get wet after I changed after the first flow of water. Made it to the birthing suite. I had not rung them to let them know I was on the way.
I had the doctor come to me immediately as all my labors are very quick. The very first thing they wanted to do was put the drip in. I refused. She put her foot down saying I had too in case I needed to go to emergency cesarean. I still said no. It would have been a comedy show if wasn’t so serious. She kept pushing me to make me do it, but could not do anything without my permission. So I developed a strategy, (now I did not scream for any of my other children’s births as I am not a screamer) but discovered screaming drowned the doctor voice out. So each time she spoke I screamed so I did not have to listen to her.
She made me lie on my back in stirrups and I would take my legs out and she would put them back. This went on for ages, screaming and pulling the legs out it was a bit of a joke. My poor partner did not know what to do. He is not a confrontational man and had no idea of what to expect.
By this time I had an audience as no one had seen a breech birth before. I had a nurse now two doctors, one them was the head doctor, a midwife, pediatrician and few onlookers don’t know what they were.
I finally had let the doctor leave my legs in stirrups and she had given up on putting a drip in me. My partner later told me that the nurse had said it was to late for one anyway and that’s the only reason she gave up.
They did put a mirror there at one stage to show me two little feet sticking out. They were going isn’t that cute.
I was still in the habit of screaming. It was the midwife who came to my rescue and the only one who was any help at all. She was not allowed down at the birth canal, that unfortunately was the doctor and the nurse’s job. She told me to use my screaming energy to push, that’s when I realized I had been procrastinating about facing the pain that I knew all about and was hoping to put off. Gone with the lovely visualization of those ladies who had a homebirth.
So I pushed with everything I had and there was movement. That when the head got stuck and I was cut open and out he came. I was trying to make them wait because I know the cord has a lot of nutrients in it and should not be cut for a couple of minutes. It was the doctors turn to have all the control now and she ignored me cut it and rushed him off somewhere. Did not see him for a good 20 minutes. I was stitched told to have a shower before I got to see him. While I was getting stitched the doctor and nurse were high on their new experience of delivering a breech, was discussing how they had been pressing something that they thought was the placenta but was his ball sack and was laughing about it. I know it was the doctors first I was not told that but could tell she lacked experience. My poor little Ky when I finally saw him he had very bruised feet and a swollen ball sack. According to my partner, was put on oxygen and the tank broke down and had to race him off to another one. It took only 42 minutes from the pushing to have him into the world. It felt like hours. He was born 1.40am and I was out of that hospital at 3.30pm. I would have been out at 9am if I could.
I have nothing against the doctor she did her best. I just wish sometimes they would stop and listen to the mother and how nature works. There are good doctors and bad like everything in this world, I think she was one of the good ones who had no experience. I hope I gave her the experience and she improves on it.
Ky had low apgars not surprisingly but he is now past his trauma and is now 5 months such a beautiful and happy little chap no sign of brain damage doing all the normal baby things. It’s such a precious gift and to watch my partner with his son finally his own child it was worth all the pain. My other children adore him and such great helpers.
One final thing, I have to recommend the screaming, despite the trauma of it all for my son and myself I felt very liberated and I know it was the screaming. I let all the pain and frustration out instead of holding it in. Felt so good. So go ahead ladies don’t feel embarrassed let the screaming begin but don’t to forget to push too.
Well I was right, I developed gestational diabetes and Ky was a breech baby, which I did not have with the other three.
I also had an amniotic test done for down syndrome and that in it self was stressful. Luckily everything was fine, as that would be a terrible decision to have to make.
It was the midwife who first felt that the baby’s head was up. But it was still early stages so nothing was said. A month later the doctors were the next ones to feel around for baby and they would not have noticed had I not said is it still in breech position. It was only then they felt again and they said oh yes it is.
Should of kept quiet and would not have to have fought so hard. It was then I received the scare talk, of how my child might not be smart as a cesarean breech child. How it was much safer to have a cesarean and should book one closer to the time.
Well being older and wiser does have benefits; I was able to look beyond their scare talk. I had already had struggles with doctors before, my first child the placenta did not come out in time so doctors wanted to manually take it out. So after having no drugs they wanted to knock me out and take it out but I said no. So the other offer was an epidural, which I agreed to. I have no recollection so still believe they knocked me out. My belief is they were in too much of a hurry to wait for nature to take its course.
Second time round I was a little stronger at holding my ground. This time they wanted to induce because my waters had slowly leaked out, I wanted to wait for my husband to get to the hospital as we lived on island he was about 4hrs away. When I disagreed they told me did I want to kill my child. I ignored them and the midwife whispered in my ear to say everything would be fine and I could wait. So I did.
Third time they wanted to put a drip in before we even started, said I bled too much from the births.
So my fourth I decided no drip as every other birth I had a drip put in, and a vaginal birth was what I was having. I completely shut myself off from anyone who had an opinion good or bad, as I wanted to stick to my decision. (I wish I did look as I would of found support groups like yours just reading some of the stories makes me feel better.) I did not go back for check up at the hospital. Then I started to get panicky, and searched out some info. That’s when I discovered acupuncture. I went to a lovely lady who tried moxa treatment on me to turn the baby. She also showed me some beautiful home births of breech babies on computer. Most of them looked like they had very little pain and they were in a pool relaxed and stress free. Not one baby was touched to pull it out. Even when the head was stuck they waited a full five minutes before the next contraction wave and he was out in a whoosh, safe and sound.
I said to my partner ok we having a home birth he looked a bit horrified. It was only about 10 days to go, so too late to get a midwife willing to deliver a breech baby. I did not even try to find one.
I was now 3 days overdue and when you a diabetic the baby’s shoulder can grow bigger than normal and they like to induce early even if you not breech.
So then of course the bad thoughts come into your head, like is the cord wrapped round its neck am I being silly and putting my child at risk etc.
So went back to the hospital, knowing they would find space for me that day because I was breech, diabetic and overdue. They did, I was lucky this time as I had doctor who was much nicer and told me the same thing the other doctor had told me, but she also said that it was based on research in 2000 which now is being reviewed as poorly conducted research. She also new all about moxa treatment, which had not worked and booked me into have an ECV the next morning.
I did not want an ECV because the acupuncturist had scared me that the child might be breech for a reason and to leave nature to its own business.
I prayed that baby would come that night and he did. My waters broke 10.30pm. That was an experience in itself as never felt my waters break for the other 3 children there was no evidence of my waters breaking the midwife just said that it had broken didn’t feel a thing. Not sure how that worked. Anyway all the way to the hospital I had contraction and more water would flowed out. I was disgusted at that. I said to my partner cant go in there all wet. Wasn’t expecting to get wet after I changed after the first flow of water. Made it to the birthing suite. I had not rung them to let them know I was on the way.
I had the doctor come to me immediately as all my labors are very quick. The very first thing they wanted to do was put the drip in. I refused. She put her foot down saying I had too in case I needed to go to emergency cesarean. I still said no. It would have been a comedy show if wasn’t so serious. She kept pushing me to make me do it, but could not do anything without my permission. So I developed a strategy, (now I did not scream for any of my other children’s births as I am not a screamer) but discovered screaming drowned the doctor voice out. So each time she spoke I screamed so I did not have to listen to her.
She made me lie on my back in stirrups and I would take my legs out and she would put them back. This went on for ages, screaming and pulling the legs out it was a bit of a joke. My poor partner did not know what to do. He is not a confrontational man and had no idea of what to expect.
By this time I had an audience as no one had seen a breech birth before. I had a nurse now two doctors, one them was the head doctor, a midwife, pediatrician and few onlookers don’t know what they were.
I finally had let the doctor leave my legs in stirrups and she had given up on putting a drip in me. My partner later told me that the nurse had said it was to late for one anyway and that’s the only reason she gave up.
They did put a mirror there at one stage to show me two little feet sticking out. They were going isn’t that cute.
I was still in the habit of screaming. It was the midwife who came to my rescue and the only one who was any help at all. She was not allowed down at the birth canal, that unfortunately was the doctor and the nurse’s job. She told me to use my screaming energy to push, that’s when I realized I had been procrastinating about facing the pain that I knew all about and was hoping to put off. Gone with the lovely visualization of those ladies who had a homebirth.
So I pushed with everything I had and there was movement. That when the head got stuck and I was cut open and out he came. I was trying to make them wait because I know the cord has a lot of nutrients in it and should not be cut for a couple of minutes. It was the doctors turn to have all the control now and she ignored me cut it and rushed him off somewhere. Did not see him for a good 20 minutes. I was stitched told to have a shower before I got to see him. While I was getting stitched the doctor and nurse were high on their new experience of delivering a breech, was discussing how they had been pressing something that they thought was the placenta but was his ball sack and was laughing about it. I know it was the doctors first I was not told that but could tell she lacked experience. My poor little Ky when I finally saw him he had very bruised feet and a swollen ball sack. According to my partner, was put on oxygen and the tank broke down and had to race him off to another one. It took only 42 minutes from the pushing to have him into the world. It felt like hours. He was born 1.40am and I was out of that hospital at 3.30pm. I would have been out at 9am if I could.
I have nothing against the doctor she did her best. I just wish sometimes they would stop and listen to the mother and how nature works. There are good doctors and bad like everything in this world, I think she was one of the good ones who had no experience. I hope I gave her the experience and she improves on it.
Ky had low apgars not surprisingly but he is now past his trauma and is now 5 months such a beautiful and happy little chap no sign of brain damage doing all the normal baby things. It’s such a precious gift and to watch my partner with his son finally his own child it was worth all the pain. My other children adore him and such great helpers.
One final thing, I have to recommend the screaming, despite the trauma of it all for my son and myself I felt very liberated and I know it was the screaming. I let all the pain and frustration out instead of holding it in. Felt so good. So go ahead ladies don’t feel embarrassed let the screaming begin but don’t to forget to push too.
